Wow...a whole month again without a post. Well, today's post is because I want to test the new ios interface for Weebly and I need to talk through some crap.

It has been a hectic month. I am still working on the script for the 10 minute short for the intern thing. It needs to be done by June 1st if it is going to be done on time. I have several ideas outlined, but can't seem to get past that stage. I need to decide on which one to use, and flesh it out then script it. I don't have much time to do it either. Besides which I have a huge server upgrade to do at work which is totally stressing me out. I need to just stop stressing and do, but I am totaly freaked out. I am in one of those places where I am too scared to do anything because I am afraid of messing up everything I do. I am afraid of writing the script because I am afraid of writing something that is crap, full of cliches and clams. I realize that it probably won't be that bad, and it can always be cleaned up, but my fear is once again paralizing me and preventing me from getting anything done.

I realize that the worst that can happen is that I need to clean it up and edit it. The worse that can happen is that my first draft is total shit. So why does it feel like if that happens it is the end of the world? This happens to me on a regular basis. I need to find a way to work around it. I need to find a way to just ignore the nagging doubt and just do it anyway.

Ok, I think I need to force myself out of this, and I am using this blog to hold myself accountable.

I vow to:

1. Work on this script for 4 hours a day.
2. Write no less than 3000 words a day, including rewrites and alterations.
3. Stop beating myself up and censoring myself before I start writing.
4. Take 5 minutes to look over the good things I have produced, to remind myself what I can do when I actually work on it.
5. Stop judging whether what I am doing is of good quality and just enjoy the process of doing it. Assessment will be judgement free, used only for seeing potentials for making it better, not judging how bad it curently is.

I realize I am being cheesy and I feel it is a bit trite. But seriously, I need to pull myself out of this muck into which I have sunk. Self judgement and self criticism is never a healthy place to stay for very long. It stunts creativity. It is a self perpetuating cycle. The more you let yourself dwell on the insecurity, the more bad things you see about your work and the more insecurity seeps in.

OK...I am going to go get myself something to eat, then I am going to take my own advice and just work on it. Any suggestions on how to work past this would be awesome. I hope I am not the only person in the world that struggles with this.

     Earlier today I was feeling bummed, so my friend @dhedgehog on Twitter made me an awesome picture. It had a dragon perched on a hill, with a little bunny rabbit popping his head out of a hole. A whole discussion ensued, which resulted in her drawing an awesome picture of a mafia bunny with red glowing eyes, and me writing this short story. I really need to edit it, but as I have taken so long already with it, I am going to post it here unedited, and maybe work on it more or expand it later. Comments and helpful editing tips will be welcomed. Trashing, trolling and vague-ing will not. 

So here is...

Deagon and the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

So it has been almost a month. It has been a very trying month, with the dental surgery, etc. I am finally through to the other side of that fiasco.

I did not get my video done in time for the deadline. There was may too much to do and not enough energy. Next year. I will finish it for next year.

Right now I am in the thick of Norwescon. I am having a blast. I decided to do the Let's Make a Movie! track. I also volunteered to be an intern/minion. I am determined to learn from these guys. I know a lot of what I am learning isn't stop motion, but I have a feeling that if I understand production better and regular camera techniques and the decisions they make in regular production I will better understand stop motion, and how to apply these techniques to stop motion. I will be able to make better production decisions.

Ok, time to get back. we are doing a planning meeting soon.

Pictures later on.

UPDATE: If you are squeemish skip to cut at the bottom!!

So I went to the dental clinic, and encountered someissues. The tooth the had to remove has 3 roots, and those roots are all leaning up against my sinus. When they tried to remove the tooth, because I am a difiicult twat, there were issues. The tooth would not come out,so they cut the tooth up two off the roots decided to hide from the dentist in my sinus. One just stuch there, the other decided to take up a permanent hiding place. It has been very, very painful. I have been going to work for as long as I can handle it, then going home, loading up on pain pills and sleeping it off until they could schedule a surgery time to remove the roots.

So today was the day. Finally. The roots had irritated my sinus so bad it hurt my eyeball, all over the right side of my face and into m ear. It felt like I had glass stuck in my face. It had to wait so long that hesaid I was getting the beginning of an infection.

But it is all fixed now. They did it this morning, and though I feel the pain from the surgery the irritation is totally gone, and it is such a relief.

CUT~

But this also means I have not worked on the video for Fandance and Norwecon. they extended my deadline to the 15th of March. I don't know if I can finish it in time now, but I plan to make a valiant effort at it. I am giving myself today and tomorrow to recover, then I will work harder. I am changing it a ton to use what I already ahve and only some extra, and I won't have time to do a lot of fancy edting. But I need to do this.

I am also considering creating something forthe Neil Gaiman/Blackberry 10 Keep It Moving project.

Ok, I need to lay down again.

Tis the update. we shall see how things go.

Ok...So I am still not that far along. I did write to the organizers and they extended the deadline to the15th, but I honestly don't think I will make it. I broke a tooth, which has put me in a lot of pain and made it difficult to work on anything for very long. I am hoping to get it fixed tomorrow morning. But still, I have lost a week of shooting. Bummer.

I also signed up for the new Vine app I have seen around. I made a short stop mo to test it, but not much as I really didn't have that much energy to put into it.
I am currently laying in bed posting this on my iPad, so I can't embed it or anything. But if you want to look my isername is barefootorbust.

here's hoping the free urgent clinic tomorrow
will do something. SIGH

SOooooo......

Working, I suppose. I am so far behind. I wasn't feel great for a while, then I procrastinted, so I most likely won't have anything done for Fandance. I am still going to try, but I am sooooooo far behind. I did not stick to my timetable at all. I also changed ideas midstream. That is a very bad idea. I still want to do my original idea. I have sets built and have done test dequences and stuff. But I wrote a filk to Princess fo the Night by Saxon. It is Doctor Who themed. So now I am leaning toward a music video for that. I want to do both, but reality tells me that both won't be completed in time. I need to stop being so indecisive. So now I am sitting in a pizza place forcing myself to plan and design, after which I will go home and build. And record the song. I ended up needing to take my uke in for a tune up. It wouldn't stay in tune for more than a few chords. Makes it difficult to record a song when your instrument won't stay in tune for the whole song. It is all good now. So I really need to do that today.

I also spent most of the day fueling my bad self with caffiene. Kind of over did it. My brain is kind of all over the place right now. I am hoping food will help drill down my focus a bit so I can get some stuff done.

Ok, I probably should finish eating and do some actual planning before ileave here. At least have a plan for the rest of the day. 

EDIT: So I came home and worked a little bit. I have decided to dress several of my little guy as Doctors. For your edification, as well as my memory of which soldier is to get which costume, here is a labeled picture:

So the next step is to glue magnets to their feet, then figure out how to clothe the little buggers. I made the ones with plumes to Baker, as I can hide with hat and hair, and Matt Smith, for the same reason. I plan to make little glasses for Tennent and go see if I can find teeny, tiny celery for Davison. 

I did not get anything recorded yet, though i did practice for a good long while tonight. My goal is to get it done tomorrow, post it to Soundcloud and then here so you can hear it. I think it is very clever, if I do say so myself. And it is fun. I just have to quit being so picky about how my uke playing sounds. 

So now I need to get to bed, as I haven't been sleeping well and I need to make myself sleep tonight so i can function. 

I leave you with a pic of my RPG test set:

So the decision has been made....sort of. I was out at a game store yesterday and I was able to find really teeny tiny polyhedral dice. I had been looking on line, but wanted to support my local game shops before I ordered them online. I was actually impressed with the store.  I asked for the dice. They said they had some that were for display purposes only that belonged to the owner, but they would ask the owner if he would sell them to me. If not, they offered to order them for me. I would have taken either choice, but the owner said I could have them. So now I have 5mm polyhedrals to use with my stop mo. Which means the idea I will be using is the game idea. 

They are actually metal. The ones I found online were resin painted to look metal. So these are even better. I love them. And I am very grateful to the nice guy at Funagain Games for helping me to get them. 

So today I have been working on getting a storyline and script together. I got halfway through it when I realized I was writing too many characters into it, so now I have to start over. I am going to have to completely change the story. That's ok. A bit frustrating but ok. So while I am letting my brain detangle from that I am building a new table. I tried to set it all up to help me with a story line, hoping they would tell me what story they wanted to tell. My biggest table doesn't fit the dice, character sheets, and the GM barrier. I hope the table will not be too big and overshadows the scene. when I have it assembled I will check it out. 

Ok, so back to writing. 

So it looks like I may get to go to Norwescon this Easter weekend. Every year they hold a mini film festival called Fandance that features fan created short films. I have decided that I need to create an animation for it. Even if I can't get the time off work, I can grab a train to Seattle after work on Friday and be there for Sat and Sunday.

So now I need to narrow down what I want to animate. I have many fandoms, and the possibilities are endless. Last night while I was trying to fall asleep I had visions of a Firefly musical. Maybe one of thoe trailers for one, or maybe a whole short story thing set in that verse. I could use my soldier guys but dress them up as Captn Mal, Wash, Zoe, River, Kaylee, Jayne, and Shepherd Book. That might be fun in and of itself. In my sleepless delerium I heard in my brain a song set to Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue. Very silly, and I may do it it anyway just for fun outside of this animation.

Then I thought about doing a bunch of short sketches. Just 30 seconds to a minute each. that may be too close to Robot Chicken though.

I could also do something with Doctor Who. I have been playing with the idea of a sketch where the Tardis runs off for a bit without the Doctor. Or I could use part of my first idea and dress up my small soldiers as different Doctors. Or maybe just a specific Doctor. I really, really love Who.

Hmm, none of these ideas are really jumping out at me. I also have that little plane I can play with, though I can't think of any way to fit it into a fan film. I guess it doesn't have to be a fan film. I know there are other things I am into, but I am so tired nothing is coming to mind. I am obsessed with British comedy, but I realy don't see how I could use that. Unless I tried to do a Red Dwarf animation. Getting voices for that might be hard though.

Ok, well, I guess that is a good start to brainstorming. I am going to have to make a tight timeline, as the deadline for submissions is March1st, and I am not sure if that means postmarked or received by. I am giving myself until Feb 20th just to be on the safe side. That is 3 weeks. I did my Douglas Adams animation in about 4 weeks. granted the audio and premise were already layed out for me, but i did have to decide the direction to take it and what I wanted in each scene. I think this is doable.

So, timeline:

~Decide on which idea to use by Feb. 3rd.
~Spend Feb. 3rd and 4th writing up a script and sketching out visuals.
~Spend Feb 5th polishing script
~Feb 6th-8th will be spent building props, sets, and figuring out how to make the visuals work.
~Feb. 9th-17th shooting
~Feb. 18th-20th editing and final polishing.
~Feb. 21st - send off in the requested DVD format.

I think that timeline will work for this. SO...now I need to get off my butt and head back home to finish brainstorming and maybe take a bath, cause I really need one.

I leave you with a pic of my dessert tonight:

This last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a sci fi convention. If you have never been to one, I highly reccomend it. The one I went to was Rustycon in Seattle. It was really, really fun. I am a nerd - a severe nerd. I reveled in the gaming, the friendly people. Most most of all, I got to immerse myself in a deeply creative and encourging atmosphere. This is a group of people who are intelligent, creative, and best of all enthusiatic. The enthusiasm is contagious.

Rustycon in and of itself is a low key, laid back con. It is nowhere on the scale of San Diego Comic Con or Dragoncon. I think that was just perfect for my first con in 5 or 6 years. I went to a wonderful panel on creating moving steam punk stuff. I got some interesting ideas about using automation to help in my stop motion. I also really want to put moving parts on my ukulele. 

I am also more determined to get something else produced. I did that Douglas Adams video last year, and I haven't really produced anything else since then. I have been pushing for my web series, but that will still be a long time to completion. I need to focus my goals more. 

Wow. This was going to be an awesome and intellectual post about the wonders of the con, but I am so tired and have a huge headache, so I am afraid after 2 hours of trying to write something coherent I have utterly failed at my task. I suppose it will have to wait until later. 

Well, I have done it again. Waited a long time between posts. In all fairness, I was waiting till had something to show you before I posted. I have a bajillion half finished projects that really need my attention.

In the last few weeks I started crocheting a helm. A friend of mine wanted one, and it looked easy enough. Well, the actual helm part was easy enough. The little visor part has not been so easy. As soon as I get rid of my frustration over it I will finish it. Here is what I have done so far:

That second pic is of the visor part. It is supposed to be held on with buttons, and can either go up on the head as decoration or down over the mouth and nose for warmth. If you can't tell, it is way too big. the first one I tried to unravel it and make it smaller. I in fact started to unravel from the wrong end and totally ruined it. So I had to start over. Then I didn't decrease properly. It ended up a funny shape. So now it is on hold until I can stop being frustrated with myself for being a dumbass.

I also put an ad on Craigslist for fellow collaborators on the web series. My vision was to get people together who knew some stuff but wanted to learn other stuff, all of which have good ideas, and make an awesome production. I have a few people interested, but it is sputering out. I need to figure out a way to get this off teh ground and going.

Last week I found this little airplane that fits my little guys exactly. It was so so awesome! The propeller broke off though. That was fine, becauae the propeller didn't move. this gave me the opportunity to reaffix it in a way that would allow for animation. Here some pics:

It is now held on with a magnet, so I can move it around. I have been gathering things, and soon hope to have a test animation up to go with it. I realize it isnt practical, and such, but it amuses me. :)

So that is what I have been doing with my time. I will post more when I have more, and am not layed out on cold medicine.