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Video contests suck...but new project is started

4/30/2012

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Wow, it is amazing how quickly time can get away from you. I think I say that way too often. The last few days I have been dealing with a personal crisis, so crafting and stop mo have not been my priority. I think it has mainly past, so now I can concentrate again on the stuff I love. :)

Well, the contest is basically over for the Douglas Adams Video Contest. According to the rules a long list of finalists was supposed to be announced today. There is no mention on the site. When I tweeted them and asked when and where I can find the list, I was basically brushed off. The first answer was "Winners will be announced May 25th". When I replied with citation in the rules that there would be a finalist list announced April 30th, I got the equivalent of "Don't call us, we'll call you". I must admit I am disappointed. I worked really hard on that video. I did my best to follow the rules. The least they can do is follow their own rules. The video response was not that big. I am guessing mainly due to poor publicity. I think they also overestimated the number of people who can do that much work in that short amount of time. When Eddie Izzard did his contest, most of the entrants had already done a video and just submitted that. I think I was one of the few who actually started from scratch. But it really does feel like they started this contest and don't really intend to finish it. I don't think there has been anyone keeping an eye on it. There was an anti Obama video up there for weeks, which clearly was not part of the contest. But enough of my whinging. I will let you know if they get back to me or not.

In other news, my room is filled with pot smoke. Yup. And it isn't mine. I don't do that. But there is a small cafe whose back patio butts up against ours, and my bedroom is the closest to it. Even with plastic covering the windows and 2 storm windows, my room smells like Burning Man mixed with old skanky hotel room. I am not happy. Not much I can do about it, though. They are allowed to smoke outdoors. And let's face it, if the police responded to every "they're smoking pot" call they got, they would never do anything else. This is Eugene.....Hippyville. 4:20 friendly. So until I figure out a solution I am not going to spend much time in my room. Which is where I have all my stop mo stuff set up and my crafting area. It made me positively sick this weekend. I will go back to stop mo...I can't stay away for long. For now, I have started a new project. well, one that brings it full circle. One of my first craft posts was about making myself a tank top. Never completed it, then figured out the yarn I was using is silk, so decided probably not a good medium for sport wear.

Yesterday I started this:
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It is going to be a tank top. I have researched a bit more about tank top construction, and have come up with a better plan. Now that I am done with job search stuff for today I am going to attempt to complete it by tomorrow. We shall see how far I get. Basic construction is crochet tube for chest portion, crochet strip for straps to be attached to, crochet straps, sew together, then crochet the rest in a tube from the bottom edge of the chest piece down. Sounds simple. We shall see if it works.
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Crappy post to motivate me to do more

4/25/2012

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So....audio didn't get finished, and no animation happened last night. I got home from my interview so tired that I just crawled into bed and watched back episodes of the Craig Ferguson show. I didn't JUST interview. I also went to the store and got bulk items, which I had to schlepp home on the bus and carry to the bus stop and from the bus stop to my house. It took 4 hours.  Today I will do something with it. Promise.

I have updated the crappy infographic, though. You'd think I would be farther along than I am. But alas, not even half way to making it to Level 2 in anything. I have done lots of writing, but not so much practicing or tech review. Le sigh. Oh well. I will work on something today that I can post here....something with actual results.

My video at the Douglas Adams Video Contest has bumped down to #2....again. Seriously, this is getting irritating. PLEASE go over and vote for me again. Please? thanks so much. After the 30th the final list for the judges will be compiled, and so I will stop begging for votes.

Here is the latest update to the infographic.
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Yeah, this is the post of fail. Main reason I am posting is to get myself to actually do something that has visible results today. I am going to go have breakfast, then get going. One thing I want to do today is try to figure out how to make myself a to-do list app that will actually do what I want. I have tried out 15 of the free apps, and none of them work for what I want them to do. I need an app that lets my missed tasks go, but marked as unfinished instead of overdue. I don't want to be bugged by tasks I didn't get done yesterday, but I want to be able to look at the list and see what did and didn't get done when I am tallying my XP. It isn't like these tasks HAVE to be done. I want a way of nudging myself to do them, and to keep track of which of those I did and didn't do. If I didn't do it today, there is another chance to do it tomorrow with the next task list.  keeping it on my list until I mark it as completed is extraneous and confusing. Most list apps require you to mark a task as completed before it will let it go. Or it deletes it. Not what I want either.

So there we go. Goals for today.

Edit: So I didn't get anything done yesterday either. I did take several hours and I found a site called Buzztouch that is a platform for developing apps. It has several videos to help you learn how to develop apps for both android and ios. I have completed several of them. At the very least I will know more about app development. last night a friend of mine wanted to cheer me up so he took me to the arcade and let me beat his ass at Mortal Combat 2. It was awesome.
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Quick drive by posting

4/24/2012

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Well, I tried to do a little stop mo the other day. Didn't turn out very well. My joints started to ache in the middle of shooting it, so I kept accidentally bumping the camera. Sunday I was down all day with a migraine, and yesterday I was trying to catch up from being out Sunday, so I have been neglectful in my posting duties.

Today I have a job interview, so cross your fingers and hope for the best. Then I plan on coming back here and seeing what I can salvage from the audio I recorded and see if I can get something to happen with it.

The Douglas Adams Video Contest is still taking votes, so if you would be so kind, please go over there and vote highly for me. I keep slipping to #2, (insert poop joke here), and would like to stay at #1 (more sanitary that way).

I have got to go get ready for my interview. Tonight I will give an update on my RL-RPG points and hopefully have some footage - maybe- to post.

Here is a pic from the one I tried to accomplish Saturday:


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Yup...it was a short 20 seconds of Mr. Snail encountering the Dalek and running away from it. Probably not worth watching, even if it was steadier. I have a weird sense of humor.
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Progress, however slow, is still progress...right?

4/21/2012

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Wow. Four days. That is a long time to go without a post. It wasn't done deliberately. I have been working on A. finding employment and B. my RL-RPG. It has been very disappointing on both fronts. I was told by my temp agency that I am basically unemployable. I have my networking degree, but at this point it is an employers market and they are asking entry level wages for 5 or 6 years worth of experience. That means I am right out of the running. With office work, I have lots of office experience as that is what I was doing before I went back to school, but now I have a degree so they feel I am overqualified for office positions. Employers see my degree and see me jumping ship as soon as possible. So basically I am screwed. Fortunately I was called yesterday by a company here in Eugene who needs someone to do customer liason/ electronic data management, which means that my experience puts me right in their tiny sliver of a niche. They did a phone interview (without scheduling it first) and I was told that I am on for round two of interviews. Yeay? Crossed fingers and all that. :)

The RL-RPG is kicking my butt in ways I had not anticipated. I have been basically following the regime. I have found, though, that walking 6 miles precludes me from sitting at a computer for several hours afterwards. I am hoping that this is just the adjustment period and that eventually the pain will go away. My joints are telling me they do not like the increased exercise. Downing of the ibuprofen and many hot baths are helping with the pain, but not with my waning motivation. I may need to up the XP points for physical activity so I feel like I am getting somewhere. On the plus side, I have submitted several stories to YMI, though nothing has been approved yet for posting. I have been practicing chords transitions on my uke.

And I am currently working on learning better character development. One of my favorite authors is Neil Gaiman. I sat down and looked at his work, and I concluded one of the reasons I love reading his stories is because his character development is so rich. They are so real and you get a great sense of who they are, without long descriptors. You get to know them by getting to know them. Which is also something I noticed I like  about storytelling. I like that style. So I guess I have found my style, I just need to develop it. I will spare you the shit I have churned out so far, but when I get to the point where I feel like I am getting across what I am meaning to get across I will start posting snippets here.

I have sadly neglected my stop mo. I am itching to get some animation done. That was my intention yesterday. I spend a huge chunk of my day looking for employment, so I decided to give myself permission to flake out and play. I took about an hour to decide what I was going to do. Then I realized I needed groceries. As I never go shopping on Saturday, I had to do it yesterday. I have to walk and the nearest store is 1.5 miles away, so that took 2 hours. Then after I got home I had to put food away and divide up the bulk meats I bought so they could be frozen. That took another hour. By that time I needed lunch, as it was 2pm, so I made lunch. Then I got the interview call, which took nearly an hour. Then there was no way I was getting anything done after that call. So the day was shot. I plan to work on it a bit today. My goal is to have something done enough to post here by 10pm tonight. It is 10am right now. That is plenty of time, even if I only end up with a 12 second thingy.

Yes, this a very long and rambley post. No craftiness or stop mo goodness. Sorry. However, you can still vote over at the Douglas Adams Video Contest. New videos can't be posted, but it looks like they are still taking votes. I keep slipping to #2, and I suspect it is because the person who keeps creeping over me to #1 is stuffing votes. Not because her video isn't good, but because no one else is moving spots at all. So...help needed. If you wanna head over there and give me a 10 bookmark rating it would help a lot. Thanks! :)
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I'd Like To Keep My Cheating Strategay-ayayay-eee

4/17/2012

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I am very good at learning lyrics to songs. I pride myself on how fast I can learn them. My mom was music teacher and had me performing from the age of 3, so I guess after this many years it just comes naturally to me. Now I forget them if I have to perform in front of someone, anyone, but generally I am good at learning them.

Then today, my ego was crushed. I was listening to No Rain by Blind Melon. Whether or not you like the song, it was one of the iconic songs of my high school years. It came out when I was a senior, and just learning how to tell my mom to fuck off when it came to her control over what I listened to. I LOVE the song. That was the year I finally burst out of my music plastic bubble and learned about other types of music. Other than classical, 40's, 50's rock, 60's rock and folk, and of course humor (Weird Al and Dr. Demento will always have a place in my heart).

So anyway, I was listening along, but this time I did not sing with it as usual. I was typing, so I just listened while I was typing. When it got to the chorus, such as it is, I finally HEARD the lyrics for the first time in nearly 20 years. I stopped typing and rewound it (well, placed the cursor at a previous point. Still stuck in the 90's). I listened again. Wow. The words that I had taken for granted for nearly 20 years were wrong. He was singing it wrong. I couldn't have learned it wrong. So I went backwards again.

Nope, I was WRONG. You see, I used to see this as an asshole slacker song. This guy wanted to sit around all day doing nothing, expecting his woman to go out and support him, AND he wanted her to let him cheat on her. Asshole slacker. Not really that surprising, considering some of the other songs other groups were doing. The words I heard are "I just want someone to say to me, oh oh oh oh, I'll always be there when you wake, yea ah ah ah./You know I'd like to keep my cheating strategy yeah yeah/ So just stay with me and I'll have it made"

Sounds pretty douchy, right? Well, turns out the lyrics are mostly the same, except that middle line is "You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today". That totally changes the song. Completely takes the asshole right out of it.

Then I started thinking.....maybe I am not as good as I thought about learning lyrics. Maybe I am just a schmoo who doesn't know anything. One of my few talents? Gone. I don't dare go through and find out what else I have misheard. I know of only one other in my entire life. That was Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. I used to think it was Dirty Me and the Dunder Chief. What the hell, they were high anyway. Didn't need to make sense. but this? He wasn't a tad clearer in his enunciation. Not much, but still.

And when I read the Bloggess's post on this very topic I think a month ago I was SO smug. I only had one. Ha ha losers. She is so funny. But now I am beginning to doubt myself. My abilities as a lyric memorizer...are they false?

Have I become one of those douches who thinks everything they do is awesome, even when it is total shit? That is the question. My generation tends to be very smug. When I started school they were doing the "EVERYONE gets first place because we want everyone to feel good about themselves" method of teaching. The problem with that is we didn't really learn the difference between shitty work and quality work. We were raised to think that no matter what we did, it was the AWESOMEST THING EVAR!!.  It has annoyed me over the years how entitled and full of themselves so many people my age are. It annoyed me way back in high school. I vowed never to become like them. Granted, there are a few that aren't. But still, DON'T want to be one.

Ya know, I like my version of the song better. I like the douchy statement. I am going to keep singing it my way. There is a difference between being bad at something, and being stubborn. As my mom used to stay, I choose to be stubborn. I know it's wrong, but I don't care. That isn't the same, is it?


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Storytelling Styles

4/15/2012

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As I have been working on gaining XP points for my RL-RPG, one of the things I have been researching is storytelling styles. This has really fascinated me. There seem to be as many styles as there are people who tell stories. There are basic similarities, but each one has their own spin and thier own way of doing things.

Tonight I listened to the story The Mayor of Mitchell garden told by Danny Lobell for the Risk! podcast. This was a story about his time working at a retirement home as the person who kept tabs on the kosher kitchen. I liked his style of storytelling, though I don't know that I would adopt it for myself. This story was more of a fond recollection story than one that had a point or a moral to it. He told it well, and you could tell in his voice that he really did care for those people. That is what made the story enjoyable for me. I liked that instead of describing the people, as in how they dressed, what color hair they had, etc, he told about who they were as people- the mean old man, the WW11 veteran. He helped us see them through the stories they told him and the things they did. He told enough detail without overburdening you with too much flowery speech. I like flowery speech, don't get me wrong. But like everything, flowery speech has a time and a place. I also liked how it felt firmed up without feeling rehearsed. It didn't feel like he was telling the story for the millionth time, though that might have been the case.

It also didn't feel like he was reading. One thing that brings me out of a story anyone is telling is when it is stilted and sounds like it is being read. Even if someone is reading a story to me, I want it to sound like they are talking to me, not reading to me. In storytelling that feels very unprepared and unprofessional. If you are going to do this you need to learn how to go without the notes. Yes, that does sound harsh. But storytelling is a performance art. If that person was a professional musician we would expect them to take hours and hours to practice the piece, to be able to play it without stumbling, or at least be familiar and comfortable enough with the piece to be able to hide stumbles. We forgive them the music on the stand, but still expect a practiced performance. I recently listened to a story telling podcast where all of the storytellers (supposed professionals) sounded stilted and like they were reading to a child. I might give them a few more episodes, but seriously, don't present them as practiced if they are not. I can forgive a newbie or someone still getting their feet under them to struggle with that still, but someone who should know better? I will expect no less of myself, which is why I will be recording myself telling stories and listening to them. I have not yet found anywhere in Eugene that does this kind of storytelling. They do children's storytelling at the library on some Saturday mornings, but that is all I have been able to find. Maybe after I get myself going a bit more I will see about possibly organizing a group here.

OK, that is enough about that for now. I spent my hour listening and analyzing. It looks like the voting is still going on at the Douglas Adams Video Contest, so if you feel up to going over there and giving me a vote or two I would appreciate it. The judges will compile a long list of final candidates on April 30th. I am guessing that maybe that is the voting deadline? The rules are really too ambiguous. So if you go there and can vote, please do. If you go there and you can't vote, well, I appreciate the support.
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Please go vote for my video.

4/15/2012

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If you have been around a while, you know that I created a little stop mo video for the Douglas Adams Video Contest. The rules are a tad ambiguous. As it doesn't really list a date on which voting ends, but it does list a deadline date for April 15th (today), I have been assuming voting ended today. Still not clear on that point, but it looks like they are still allowing votes. I worked really hard on this project, and I keep seeing it slip to the #2 spot. This is heartbreaking for me.

SO - If you have time today (or several times today) PLEASE go by and vote for me. Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top? I need a win terribly bad right now. Not a "win" win, but something that feels like a win.

I don't even know if I can win this thing for real. There is no way I will be able to afford to be at the Towel day event in the UK. As much as I really, really want to, there is no way. I don't even have a passport. There is nothing in the rules that say the winners have to attend, but it doesn't say you don't have to be there either. The way my luck has been going lately, even if I do win they will say I have to be there to win and I will be cut out of the running. And that's fine. It is their right to do so (or not do so - crossing fingers). So for some odd reason, just in case this happens, I have put more weight on the page votes than in the final announcement.

So please...help me feel like a winner. Help me prove to the fear monster that it is a lying sack of shit. Help me accomplish something that I can tell people I did with pride, instead of a mumbled "Oh, I entered". You will make a fat nerd very very happy.
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Nerdist Way Implementation

4/13/2012

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Wow. Time passes quickly sometimes. I have spent so much time trying to find an income of ANY type and trying to reorganize my life that I I totally lost track of time. It is Friday already. Sheesh. I have done nothing regarding stop motion. I have done nothing regarding crafty things. However, I do have a more solid plan, which I suppose is good. Below is a sketch of my plan. I am putting it here mainly so I have it down somewhere public so I feel more inclined to hold myself accountable, but also so those who want to can egg me on. If you don't care, feel free to skip the rest of this post.

EXCEPT - Before you leave take a minute to go to the Douglas Adams Tribute Video Contest and give me a vote or two. Only 2 more days until the contest is over, then I will post it in my video section. Now you can go. :)

Writing: My goal is to get better at writing and to get something good enough to publish. In order to do that, I need to be writing every day. I need to put myself out there. I need someone to tell me when I am on target, but be gentle with me when I am not. My previous experiences with writer's groups have not been pleasant. So instead, I have signed up with YMI Doing This. My goal is to have something post worthy every Friday. As I just decided this yesterday, I have nothing to put there yet. That will be next Friday's goal. Every time I spend an hour writing on something I am giving myself 2 experience points. An additional 1o XP will be awarded every time I actually post something. Every 500 points I will raise an experience level. So right now I am a Level One Writer. I am not counting writing blog posts or writing scripts. This is strictly writing to be read.

Fitness: Let's face it...I need to lose weight. A lot of it. I am so out of shape it is sad. I have never been skinny, but the last 5 years I have had at least one major physical disaster a year (sometimes 2), which has precluded me from exercise. It feels like I just get to the point where I CAN do stuff again when I injure myself again. I hate exercising in the traditional sense. It is boring. Gym workouts? It is hard to find the motivation for those. I do have a pedal thingy I bought myself last year, thinking I was going to use it and haven't. I LOVE to go hiking and canoeing and repelling and other things like that. Those all take money and transportation, neither of which I have at the moment.  So my fitness goal is to ride the pedal thingy for an hour a day and walk at least 2 miles a day.  I used to think nothing of walking 7 miles to get to class. Now that I have a phone that allows me to play mp3's, I can load up on podcasts, audio books and music. That should make both more endurable for me. I am giving myself 2 experience points for every day I do the pedal thingy and 2 points for every mile I walk in one go. For every pound I lose I am giving myself 10 XP.

My diet isn't that bad. I eat lots of fresh fruits and veggies, mainly because I like them. I don't like the taste of salt, so most snack foods are out. I drink 32-64 oz of water a day. The worst I do is coffee, tea, and Taco Bell. Taco Bell isn't even that bad. I get their $2 meal, which includes a chicken burrito and a soda and a bag of Doritos that usually gets stored for when I don't have grocery money. I have to walk 1/2 a mile to get there and 1/2 a mile back, so I figure if I don't do it too often (usually once or twice a week) I am ok. So right now I am a Level One Fitness.

Creativity: One of the goals I have is to be creative with other creative people. I don't get out much. I can't afford to go anywhere, even by bus. I get so isolated it hurts at times. I forget the the surge of adrenaline I get when one of my ideas sparks someone else's imagination, and visa versa, when planning something fun to create and what to do with it. One of my problems is I feel like a creative fraud. I am a creative person, but I am not as creative as some people. Which will always be the case. There is always someone more WHATEVER than you. So my goal is to connect with someone creatively every day. I have bookmarked several blogs and message boards on which I can interact with others like me, even though I can't get anywhere. I award myself 1 xp for each blog response, and 1 xp for each message board interaction. If I actually create something with someone else, I will award myself 10 XP. So I am Level One Creative right now.

Music: I love to sing and play music. I used to perform it all the time. I never had stage fright growing up. It was a foreign concept to me. Now that I have had a few really bad life experiences behind me and my confidence in myself is shot it plagues me. Sometimes to the point of wanting to crawl under my bed and live there for the rest of my life. But I love to sing and perform. I want to do that again. I took voice lessons for a while, and I was starting to get over it. It has been over a year now since i last had the opportunity to perform in public, and I am almost back to square one. My goal with music is to write, arrange and perform again. So for every hour I spend practicing I get 1 XP, every hour I spend writing music I get 1 XP, and every hour I spend arranging I get 1 XP. It may seem low, but doing it and doing it a lot is the only thing that is going to make it better. If I get too many points for doing something small I will do it less. So in a way it is a motivator. I hope, anyway. Then my goal is to record 1 song a week on my computer and post it here. I will give myself 10 XP for every song I record and 10 XP for every one I post. Ok, so Level One Bard.

Storytelling: Ever since I was a little kid I have always been into storytelling. When I was little, I remember sitting with my sister, best friend and her sister telling stories ab out the worst babysitter in the world that we used to have. Well, we didn't, it was all made up, but I loved seeing the looks on their faces when I was telling about how I escaped her evil punishments by climbing into the attic (which me never had) and acrobatting from beam to beam. The more I told those stories, the more elaborate they became. And the more believable they became. It was FUN. I used to love to tell stories to anyone who would listen. I never did get to the point of performing though. As an adult, my interest in storytelling has been rekindled, thanks to things like Kevin Allison's Risk! podcast. I have found I prefer stories that are true ( or mostly true), or at least told as if the story happened to the storyteller. Though traditional Fairytale/folk story storytelling is ok too, I prefer it when it is more of a first person POV. I want to get to a point where I can do this professionally. So I set goals for myself. Every day I am going to spend time on one story. Not writing it, yet, but listening to others tell them. I will take that story and assess it. Did I like it? Why or why not? Was it the way it was presented, or the words that were being used? For every story I listen to I will give myself 1 XP, and every completed written evaluation I will give myself 5 XP. When I get to the writing part, I will give myself 10 XP for completed written story, 10 XP for recording it and posting it, and 20 XP if I perform it. So Level One Storyteller.

Technology: So the last category (I PROMISE) is technology. I just graduated with my Computer Networking Degree. and yet, as I don't really use it every day I feel like I don't know jack shit. Also, as I haven't ever done any job in the technology field, I am not getting any offers for jobs using my degree. So my goal is to spend 1 hour every day reviewing technology. I will choose a concept I have already learned and review it, I will check tech blogs and see what is new, I will test myself to see if I remember stuff I already learned in school. I will also write about it, as regurgitation is the best way to solidify things. So 1 XP for every hour of review, plus 1 XP for every 30 minutes spent on blogs and news sites and 1 XP for every piece I write on technology. And 10 XP if I  publish it here or on YMI. So Level One Technonerd.

I suppose I could create a structure for my employment search, but I am having a hard time doing that. there really isn't anything measurable as far as results for that. Either people want to hire me or they don't. No amount of exertion is going to change their minds. I can set a goal of at least 5 applications a day (which I do) and time searching, but I feel like that would be setting myself up for failure. With all the other categories I will be able to see myself getting better. With employment, either it happens or it don't. It is more likely to happen if I do those things, but the outcome is completely out of my control. I can easily see myself getting depressed and sullen if I keep track of how much I have failed in getting a job. Employment is a major goal for me but it will have to be something I just do, not something I measure. For my sanity's sake.

From time to time I will post my scores. I am working on making a graphic that illustrates my XP points and levels in each category. If I get it done today I will post it here as an edit.

Thanks for stickin with me on this LONG and BORING post. :)

EDIT: So here is my lame ass attempt at making a graphic for my progress. I have never made one in GIMP before, and after several hours of not getting what I want decided this one is good enough. Maybe by next XP update I will have a better one.
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RL-RPG. Huh. I need to roll a 20 right now.

4/11/2012

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Wow. Setting up the RL-RPG is not as easy as I thought it would be. I know what I want, but the goals I have are not conducive to the format presented. I have spent the last couple of days trying to figure it out. I mainly just need to figure a way to word it so that I can attach mini-goals so I can set up an XP system. Par example, one of my goals is to become gainfully employed. How exactly does one create steps that are measurable? All I can do is what I have been doing, namely throwing my resume and applications around until someone decides to call me back. Despite what they tell you, contacting companies you want to work for even if they don't have any jobs posted is totally not ok. I have temped in many HR offices. It bugs the shit out of them. They don't have time to do their normal jobs AND answer 400 calls from people begging to be employed. It is right up there with applying for a job you are obviously not even close to being qualified to do. And if you happen to catch them on a bad day, they might just remember your name and the irritation you caused and it might effect employment possibilities with them in the future.

But I ramble. :)

I haven't done much to forward the progress of the next video. The past couple of days has been consumed by the RL-RPG and trying to find a job. I walked to the grocery store and got some much needed fresh vegetables. I feel a lot better and less hungry now.

OK, before I go back to job hunting, just a reminder that there are ONLY 4 DAYS LEFT IN THE Douglas Adams Video Tribute Contest. Yup, this thing is almost over. And now there are 11 videos up there, so it is even more important to throw a few more votes my way. Then I will stop bugging everyone around me. Unless I win (or heaven forbid place 2nd or 3rd). Then I will be saying "Hey everybody! This video won a contest!!" And I'll be shoving the actual video in people's faces instead of the link to the contest. But I promise not to be mean about it.
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Why Chris Hardwick is my new hero...well, sort of

4/9/2012

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A while back I posted a long diatribe about my creative process and the lack thereof, about my paralyzing fear and how to get past it. I have been working hard, though I must admit that I have failed in doing the regular Yes, And... writing that I had promised myself. It is still difficult. I know it has only been a month, but it feels like my progress is non existent. I just found an ad calling for music writers. I can totally do that, except I have no real writing samples anywhere on the web and trying to write one just for the application is freaking me out. I start something and erase the whole thing before I can even edit it. I KNOW I can do it, but I don't know I can do it, if that makes any sense. It doesn't, but I hope I am getting my meaning out. Intellectually I know I can do it, but at the moment the fear monster is gripping me hard, whispering in my ear that no one wants to read anything I might write. Several weeks of being turned down for many, many jobs is seriously feeding and giving strength to this fucker.

So thanks to a wonderful friend I now have a copy of The Nerdist Way by Chris Hardwick. I don't know if you are aware of the guy. I have been following his podcast since inception. He has taken his podcast and turned it into a network. His theory is that the Nerd brain works in a way that is different from the rest of society. The Nerd brain has the ability to get hyper focused and the intelligence to quickly makes sense of things. His theory is that in general we nerds use that hyper focal ability to do things like play video games for hours, create worlds that don't exist so we can live in them (in our heads), and that this ability can be harnessed to help you succeed in every day life. He is not claiming to be a self help guru. He is not claiming to be some expert on, well, anything. But what he is claiming is that these methods have worked to help him turn his life around, and he is putting them out there for us other nerds to try.

A lot of what he says hits home. I can get hyper focused, especially on all the wrong things. Though I do not claim to be a brainiac, I am also not a dullard. One of the things he suggests is treating your life like an RPG. If you are not familiar with this concept, and RPG is a Role Playing Game. D&D is a classic example of one. I LOVE RPGs. When playing an RPG, you create your character by rolling dice to decide which attributes you get. In RL-RPG, you create a numbering system for the traits you have and want. I won't explain the whole thing here, mainly because I feel Mr. Hardwick deserves the money for people buying the book instead of reading it all here.

In my twisted little nerd brain, it all makes sense. All of it. In fact, last night I was dreaming about how to implement it. So, starting today, I am turning my life into an RPG. My goal: to get over myself and make money doing what I love. I am hoping that this will help me get out of my own way. By this time next year, I want to be doing something besides whining about how I hate my life and how shitty it is that no one will hire me. Now that I have emailed 5 applications (that is my minimum for any given day), I plan to spend the rest of the day creating my character and goal sheets.

The many taloned monster painfully gripping my shoulder is telling me it will never work, and that my motivation will wane after a day or so and I won't complete it. Time to add a sword to my weapon arsenal so I can slay this lying motherfucker.
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    Eleanor...nerd, musician, stop motion animator, techy, crafty. But not in the crafty crafty way...I just like making things. You can find me on Twitch & Twitter @TeaWeaselStopMO & Tiktok.

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