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Wow it has been a crazy 4 months....

7/7/2020

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Yeah...crazy. Strap in...this is a long ride....

In case you are unaware or reading this off the wayback machine, since mid March 2020 we have been in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic. I have been meaning to do so much. I, like a lot fo people, am dealing with paralyzing fear and depression.

I am smack dab in the middle of high risk population. I have previous lung damage. I have a joint condition that compromises my immune system. This makes every wander outside my own walls a little like watching a horror movie....only the consequences are real.

In this state I have hesitated posting. I didn't want this to turn into a whinefest, or just get stuck in a place complaining and panic. My usual anxiety is through the roof. Every day. And I don't feel like I can do anything about it, because I can't go out and talk to anyone.

As of right now, they have been relaxing restrictions. Which has resulted in a spike in cases. My local hospitals are on the verge of not being able to handle it.

Top that off with all the rubbish happening with the police. Regardless of how or why people are protesting, the Portland police have gone out of thier way to double down on the violence and outright illegal activity. They declared war basically on journalists who are there to report. They have killed a few, and put many in the hospital just for filming them.

Times are scarey. Really, really scarey.

But you know....times have always been scarey. People have always been violent dicks. We are not going through anything new. Because people are people, and you can't force people to be empathetic and not...pychotic. Or psychopathic.

The best we can do is to do our best to keep ourselves safe, and those around us. To stand up to the gross crap that is going on, and not let the dicks win.

What frustrates me most is I don't feel like I can do what needs to be done. I can't put myself or others at risk by being out with the protestors. I don't have a lot of money to pay my own bills, much less give to people who CAN do what I physically can't.

I do, fortunately, still have a job. I work in IT, so working from home is not that hard of a transition. They put me on nights, which would be fine except instead of the old schedule of 10pm to 7am, they decided to put me on 6pm to 3am. Which means now not only do I not get to socialize in person, but now I have to miss all the online socializing as well. And they don't seem to care. It is kind of pointless for me to be on so early. But that is what they have chosen. And I should be grateful I have a job, right? Mental health be damned. As long as you can pay your bills. :/

Amidst this social chaos, I have taken on a new dog. It was something I felt I could do. Though it really does not make a whole lot of difference. His name is Froggy, and he is a 10 year old English Staffordshire Terrier. His former owner neglected him. He lost an eye and has health issues, and he looks a bit like a pit bull, (though waaaaay smaller), so they were having a hard time finding him a home. He is a total love. Grainne is still sooo mad at me, and he has been here since May. Gratuitous pic slam time.

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    Eleanor...nerd, musician, stop motion animator, techy, crafty. But not in the crafty crafty way...I just like making things. You can find me on Twitch & Twitter @TeaWeaselStopMO & Tiktok.

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