So time has marched forward, and so has my progress....a little anyway. I now have my storyline for the steampunk video all lined out. I have my characters developed. I have designed the world in which they will live. I am kind of excited about it. This is going to be fun, once I get past the hard parts.

I decided I want the exterior of the houses to all be stone, with stone garden walls, etc. I envision this place to be like one the planned garden cities in England of the late 19th and early 20th century. If I am going to do this I need to find a good way to replicate a lot of walls. I do not sculpt well. I am not going to rely on someone with sculpting skills to have time available for this. So I took a trip to the Eugene Toy & Hobby to see waht they had. I found these retaining wall sections for model train sets. They will work wonderfully. I just can't afford to buy all I need. They were $11 for a set of 3.  I have liquid latex. I have lots and lots of cheap plaster. I thought hey, why not make my own molds of these wall sections and then I can make all I need cheaply.

Latex mold making is not as easy as they make it look. they didn't turn out very well. I got sick from all the latex fumes. And the ones that did work didn't actually produce a working model. Even though the molds really did not shrink (I can fit the original in without stretching it), the casting is a good inch smaller than the original. I need to figure out why. I also had a hard time getting that first layer to dry properly. The side touching the original wall piece never dried properly no matter how long I left it before I did the second layer. The thing is, when you do a second layer, you can't wait too long or the layers don't adhere to each other properly. Then there were the issues with making the mother molds. Latex is thin and does not hold it's shape. This is ideal for peeling it off the original...not so for holding the casting material in the right shape. So you make a mother mold out of plaster. After the last layer has dried you cover it in plaster. Let it sit until set and voila you have a good solid base for the latex mold that will still allow for you to peel the latex off the casting without breaking it. my issue...the plaster kept crumbling. I followed the directions on how to mix it. I let it sit for hours. the ambient room temp was 70. The stupid things just kept crumbling. I finally got a few that will work, though I really need to figure out how to solve the mysterious shrinking casting issue.

Here be the picture evidence. The yellow one on the left is the first one that worked. the one at the top is the second one, though you can tell it stuck to the original and destroyed some of the detail. The one in the middle is the original, and to the right is the casting. Sad, sad, sad.

I guess I am failing in whole new ways. That is ok. I am learning, and each one gets better. I just don't have a lot of time. I wanted to get the video done in time to submit it to the Pacific Northwest Animation festival as well, but that is not going to happen. The deadline for that is Dec 31. It is already the 11th. I will be lucky if I can get the sets built by then.
    I also had a brilliant idea to use those poseable wooden artists manquins as the armatures for the puppets. I figured out how to get the hands to work, I just got to figure out how to build up the head and face. The advantage is there are more natural articulation points, and they are already built up to natural human proportions. I will still work on learning how to make my own, but to try to facilitate this video that is what I am trying.

Because I don't have a lot of good clamping tools for delicate cutting, I used a Dremmel with the sanding wheel to grind the hands down to where they are more normal shape. The dots are the places I will be gluing twisted florist wire. I will then wrap them all in paper sports tape and paint them. Then I need to decide how I am going to anchor them. Do I want to continue the magnet method, or do I want to drill holes and destroy my set table to try screw anchors? I am leaning toward the magnets. Less permanent damage. And I don't have to go buy sturdier foam for the base. I don't think I could get that locally. Disadvantage of living in a small town.

    And that is as far as I have gotten. The molds alone took 3 days. This is a long slow process. I am impatient. I want to be animating. However, this time I want better puppets and sets. I want this one to be really cool.

    I am also looking into renting office space. As long as I keep it under $300 and utilities included I may be able to do it. I would be sacrificing saving any money for deposits for my own place to live, but it would be easier for everyone else to help out if I had a place other than just a bedroom for us to work. It feels weird, and frankly no one really wants to do that, as much as they want to work on this. Sigh. It always comes down to money, doesn't it. Well, if I can get to a place where my animations look more professional maybe I can get a few commissions, maybe start at least having it pay for itself. that would make it tons easier.

Anyway, if you are reading this and have an inkling of why my molds are giving me grief, feel free to either comment or email me. I was planning on having people over to help make castings, but I have to have enough molds for more than just one person to use.

Apparently I have a Tumblr account, which I totally forgot about. I tend to do that. Create accounts at the newest shiniest thing on the intertubes then completely forget about them. Also apparently I did some serious pontificating there about creativity, my cowardace about putting my stuff put there, etc. Yeah I know. Weird. Some of those things were actually good and fairly intelligent, if I do say so myself. I came across it while lazily spending the morning in bed googling myself. Don't judge me - you have done it too.

So the one that struck me the most this morning is about how people give criticism, and our general lack of knowledge around how to do it correctly. While creativity rarely happens in a void, bad criticism can shut it down completely. Here is a copy-n-paste of what I said there. Do you agree? Do you think I am being overly harsh, or have I hit the nail on the head?

~In my ongoing to search to find something out there that will help me get over myself and continue creating, I have noticed something interesting.

But first, let me say that my view of the creative process up till now has been you hole up by yourself. You write/photograph/paint/sew/edit, etc, until whatever it is you are creating is polished and good. Then you present it to the world and get your kudos and praise from regular people and stone throwing from the trolls and voila you have success. I love to get feedback and encouragement as I go. My experience has been that when you ask other people for that what you actually get is thier vision of how your project should be. My mother was very fond of molding anything I did until it was no longer the personification of the vision I had for it. It was then her project, and she expected credit for it.

When I decided I wanted to write I started going to writing groups thinking that I would get the encouragement I needed, only to be shot down horribly by members of the group. Any time anyone had a good idea or an engrossing story, instead of encouraging the writer they would pick apart the petty details that didn’t matter. They would shoot each other down with scathing remarks about things like a writer’s choice in clothing for their characters or pick to pieces the choice of titles. I watched them all do this to each other and left in frustration. This was not helpful to anyone nor was it encouraging. It cemented my theory that creativity is a lone animal.

However, as I read more and more about what successful creative people have to say about it the more I am inclined to think that creativity doesn’t happen in a void. Yes, certain things you have to do alone. But it seems that creativity begats creativity. How many artists have said they saw the Mona Lisa or some brilliant art piece and were inspired to go home and do something themselves? How many writers tell about the daily activities that triggered an idea for a story that developed into a book?

And they also had someone, somewhere along the line, who told them they were good and gently steered them in the right direction.

In my opinion most people, even experienced creative types, don’t understand how to critique. Critiquing isn’t about saying “This is bad. I don’t like it. You need to change X,Y and Z.” It is about looking at the beauty that is already there and making little suggestions that will enhance that beauty. It is about putting aside your personal taste and looking at the project for what it is. Not a lot of creative types do that instinctively. We tend to look at a project and begin assessing what we would do if it were our project.

There are people out there who can objectively critique and help. They can look at a piece of art and explain to the artist why the overall design would fit together better if they used a different color, instead of just telling them the color is off. They can read your story and tell you why this paragraph breaks up the continuity of a story. They can look at your movie and explain why that last scene didn’t work with the rest of the story. And most importantly they can express what they like about a project.

We need more people like that. That is what helps creativity to thrive. Though we can’t change how other people do things, we can change ourselves.

We need to step back and think about how we felt when we first started, and explain our critique in a way that is more of a learning experience than a destructive experience. We need to ask ourselves “Is this really a valid criticism, or is this just my personal taste?

This is how we can help each other through those damned walls. If I had people like that to show my work to during the polishing process, I wouldn’t be so disinclined to show anything to anyone ever. That little voice inside that likes to pipe in with “This is shit. Why are you even trying?” would be easier to silence.

Hmm…well, it’s just a theory. I welcome thoughts on the subject.~

So, that said...Thoughts? Agree or disagree? Why?

Well, yes, I have been working on my video. The one I am making completely (well, mostly) on my iPad. I have gotten some people to collaborate and help record voiceovers. I tried to do both voices myself and it sounded like the same person for both characters. I really need to learn how to do voices. Anyway, so now I have all the audio I need. Well, mostly. I may have to rewrite the script a bit, as I am having a hard time finding a particular soundbite that is integral to the plot. But anyway, I probably would be shooting today, but I got distracted. I have been dividing my time between this and a new project. Yesterday someone at work brought in a bunch of stuff she had cleaned out of her son's room. This was included in the bunch:

It is a little bitty baby guitar. At first I was going to just restring it as a guitar, as 2 of the strings were broken and I had my doubts about the remaining ones. Then I went to the uke store for strings for my soprano uke and the guy suggested I string it as a concert uke. It is exactly the same size and shape. The biggest differences being the part at the end that holds the strings and more tuning pegs. So, while I have been working on my video stuff, I turned that ugly orange thing into this:

It is kind of hard to see. The light also makes it look lighter than it is. But I painted it green with silver trim, and painted the bridge black with silver trim. I also had to glue a piece of wood under the metal string holder. I found out the hard way that the metal eats through nylon strings quickly. Like, within minutes of stringing it and while trying to tune it. If I didn't have my glasses on at the time I would have put my eye out. I have strung it like a concert uke, and with a low G instead of a high G. It is interesting to listen to. Definitely changes how my chords sound. The strings are still acclimating. It will take a bit before they stop stretching and settle in.

But yeah, I would paint a bit, then work on video while the paint was drying, then paint some more. I probably would be farther along on the video if I could just leave this thing alone. But I can't. It's my new toy.

Tonight I am tired of doing stuff, but tomorrow I will get to shooting and editing. My plan is to have it completely done by sundown tomorrow. That is the plan. We shall see what actually happens. :)

BIG SIGH. I think I have a good draft of my first episode. For the series I am going to do. I am kind of excited. This is fun. There is probably a lot that needs to be done to modify it, but I like it how it is. I would love to have people read it and give me feedback, but I am not ready to make it public for everyone. If you want to read it and give me your opinion, go to the contact form and send me a request. I will send you the private link to it and you can let me know how bad it stinks.

As is evidenced by my fragmented sentences and half formed ideas, my brain is fried. It has been fun, but a challenging fun. I know what I want to do for the second episode already, so tomorrow will be fleshing out episode 2. It would be nice if I could finish it tomorrow, but I don't see that happening. Sometimes it takes me longer than I like to get me into writing mode. I have to get past the "Oh my god what if it blows" wall that my brain throws up every time I try to write. I am hoping the more I do this the easier it will get to tear that wall down and start something. The fact that I got through it, whether it is trash or treasure, makes me so happy at this moment.

Wow. Time passes quickly sometimes. I have spent so much time trying to find an income of ANY type and trying to reorganize my life that I I totally lost track of time. It is Friday already. Sheesh. I have done nothing regarding stop motion. I have done nothing regarding crafty things. However, I do have a more solid plan, which I suppose is good. Below is a sketch of my plan. I am putting it here mainly so I have it down somewhere public so I feel more inclined to hold myself accountable, but also so those who want to can egg me on. If you don't care, feel free to skip the rest of this post.

EXCEPT - Before you leave take a minute to go to the Douglas Adams Tribute Video Contest and give me a vote or two. Only 2 more days until the contest is over, then I will post it in my video section. Now you can go. :)

Writing: My goal is to get better at writing and to get something good enough to publish. In order to do that, I need to be writing every day. I need to put myself out there. I need someone to tell me when I am on target, but be gentle with me when I am not. My previous experiences with writer's groups have not been pleasant. So instead, I have signed up with YMI Doing This. My goal is to have something post worthy every Friday. As I just decided this yesterday, I have nothing to put there yet. That will be next Friday's goal. Every time I spend an hour writing on something I am giving myself 2 experience points. An additional 1o XP will be awarded every time I actually post something. Every 500 points I will raise an experience level. So right now I am a Level One Writer. I am not counting writing blog posts or writing scripts. This is strictly writing to be read.

Fitness: Let's face it...I need to lose weight. A lot of it. I am so out of shape it is sad. I have never been skinny, but the last 5 years I have had at least one major physical disaster a year (sometimes 2), which has precluded me from exercise. It feels like I just get to the point where I CAN do stuff again when I injure myself again. I hate exercising in the traditional sense. It is boring. Gym workouts? It is hard to find the motivation for those. I do have a pedal thingy I bought myself last year, thinking I was going to use it and haven't. I LOVE to go hiking and canoeing and repelling and other things like that. Those all take money and transportation, neither of which I have at the moment.  So my fitness goal is to ride the pedal thingy for an hour a day and walk at least 2 miles a day.  I used to think nothing of walking 7 miles to get to class. Now that I have a phone that allows me to play mp3's, I can load up on podcasts, audio books and music. That should make both more endurable for me. I am giving myself 2 experience points for every day I do the pedal thingy and 2 points for every mile I walk in one go. For every pound I lose I am giving myself 10 XP.

My diet isn't that bad. I eat lots of fresh fruits and veggies, mainly because I like them. I don't like the taste of salt, so most snack foods are out. I drink 32-64 oz of water a day. The worst I do is coffee, tea, and Taco Bell. Taco Bell isn't even that bad. I get their $2 meal, which includes a chicken burrito and a soda and a bag of Doritos that usually gets stored for when I don't have grocery money. I have to walk 1/2 a mile to get there and 1/2 a mile back, so I figure if I don't do it too often (usually once or twice a week) I am ok. So right now I am a Level One Fitness.

Creativity: One of the goals I have is to be creative with other creative people. I don't get out much. I can't afford to go anywhere, even by bus. I get so isolated it hurts at times. I forget the the surge of adrenaline I get when one of my ideas sparks someone else's imagination, and visa versa, when planning something fun to create and what to do with it. One of my problems is I feel like a creative fraud. I am a creative person, but I am not as creative as some people. Which will always be the case. There is always someone more WHATEVER than you. So my goal is to connect with someone creatively every day. I have bookmarked several blogs and message boards on which I can interact with others like me, even though I can't get anywhere. I award myself 1 xp for each blog response, and 1 xp for each message board interaction. If I actually create something with someone else, I will award myself 10 XP. So I am Level One Creative right now.

Music: I love to sing and play music. I used to perform it all the time. I never had stage fright growing up. It was a foreign concept to me. Now that I have had a few really bad life experiences behind me and my confidence in myself is shot it plagues me. Sometimes to the point of wanting to crawl under my bed and live there for the rest of my life. But I love to sing and perform. I want to do that again. I took voice lessons for a while, and I was starting to get over it. It has been over a year now since i last had the opportunity to perform in public, and I am almost back to square one. My goal with music is to write, arrange and perform again. So for every hour I spend practicing I get 1 XP, every hour I spend writing music I get 1 XP, and every hour I spend arranging I get 1 XP. It may seem low, but doing it and doing it a lot is the only thing that is going to make it better. If I get too many points for doing something small I will do it less. So in a way it is a motivator. I hope, anyway. Then my goal is to record 1 song a week on my computer and post it here. I will give myself 10 XP for every song I record and 10 XP for every one I post. Ok, so Level One Bard.

Storytelling: Ever since I was a little kid I have always been into storytelling. When I was little, I remember sitting with my sister, best friend and her sister telling stories ab out the worst babysitter in the world that we used to have. Well, we didn't, it was all made up, but I loved seeing the looks on their faces when I was telling about how I escaped her evil punishments by climbing into the attic (which me never had) and acrobatting from beam to beam. The more I told those stories, the more elaborate they became. And the more believable they became. It was FUN. I used to love to tell stories to anyone who would listen. I never did get to the point of performing though. As an adult, my interest in storytelling has been rekindled, thanks to things like Kevin Allison's Risk! podcast. I have found I prefer stories that are true ( or mostly true), or at least told as if the story happened to the storyteller. Though traditional Fairytale/folk story storytelling is ok too, I prefer it when it is more of a first person POV. I want to get to a point where I can do this professionally. So I set goals for myself. Every day I am going to spend time on one story. Not writing it, yet, but listening to others tell them. I will take that story and assess it. Did I like it? Why or why not? Was it the way it was presented, or the words that were being used? For every story I listen to I will give myself 1 XP, and every completed written evaluation I will give myself 5 XP. When I get to the writing part, I will give myself 10 XP for completed written story, 10 XP for recording it and posting it, and 20 XP if I perform it. So Level One Storyteller.

Technology: So the last category (I PROMISE) is technology. I just graduated with my Computer Networking Degree. and yet, as I don't really use it every day I feel like I don't know jack shit. Also, as I haven't ever done any job in the technology field, I am not getting any offers for jobs using my degree. So my goal is to spend 1 hour every day reviewing technology. I will choose a concept I have already learned and review it, I will check tech blogs and see what is new, I will test myself to see if I remember stuff I already learned in school. I will also write about it, as regurgitation is the best way to solidify things. So 1 XP for every hour of review, plus 1 XP for every 30 minutes spent on blogs and news sites and 1 XP for every piece I write on technology. And 10 XP if I  publish it here or on YMI. So Level One Technonerd.

I suppose I could create a structure for my employment search, but I am having a hard time doing that. there really isn't anything measurable as far as results for that. Either people want to hire me or they don't. No amount of exertion is going to change their minds. I can set a goal of at least 5 applications a day (which I do) and time searching, but I feel like that would be setting myself up for failure. With all the other categories I will be able to see myself getting better. With employment, either it happens or it don't. It is more likely to happen if I do those things, but the outcome is completely out of my control. I can easily see myself getting depressed and sullen if I keep track of how much I have failed in getting a job. Employment is a major goal for me but it will have to be something I just do, not something I measure. For my sanity's sake.

From time to time I will post my scores. I am working on making a graphic that illustrates my XP points and levels in each category. If I get it done today I will post it here as an edit.

Thanks for stickin with me on this LONG and BORING post. :)

EDIT: So here is my lame ass attempt at making a graphic for my progress. I have never made one in GIMP before, and after several hours of not getting what I want decided this one is good enough. Maybe by next XP update I will have a better one.