Here are the humiliating unedited results:
#1:It broke my heart when Uncle Tom had to sell the vultures.
#2:Sell the vultures? Isn't the phrase "sell TO the vultures"?
#1:Nope. Uncle Tom had a vulture farm.
#2:A vulture farm? What on earth would he do with vultures?
#1:He had an animal corpse cleaning service. He would get a call and send his vultures out to clean dead animals on their property.
#2:What? Don't they do that naturally?
#1:Yup. But his would do it faster.
#2:Um, ok. Really?
#1:Yup. They were specially trained vultures. And they were starving.
#2:He would starve vultures to get business??
#1:Kind of. They don't like butchered meat.
#2:This is ridiculous.
#1:I know, right? The uppity sons of bitches.
#2:No, I mean this story. You are totally going into weird territory.
#1:What? But it is the truth.
#2:No it's not. No one has vulture farms.
#1:How do you know?
#2:Because it is impractical.
#1:Yeah, that's what Tom found out. Just no money in it.
#2:How would he get the vultures to come back to him?
#1:He didn't. Usually they would gorge themselves so much that they couldn't fly. He would go pick them up.
#2:Why would people pay for this?
#1:Well, they didn't. That was the problem. They would call him up, then after he sent his vultures out there they would refuse to pay.
#2:He didn't get a contract first?
#1:Nope. He never did have a head for business.
#2:So why did it break your heart?
#1:It was so sad to watch them pack their little suitcases. I cried the whole time. Where can a poor vulture go to make a living these days?
#2:Vultures don't make a living.
#1:Exactly. People are so prejudiced against vultures these days. Getting a job is nigh on impossible.
#2:No. I mean they don't need to. They can live in the wild and eat roadkill.
#1:How heartless are you? They need some way to pay for internet. And George's gambling habit has gotten him into some deep debt.
Yeah. Not great. But it is a start. I am hoping by posting the idiotic results it will push me to get more creative with it. Still feels a bit like an Abbot and Costello routine. The actual starting phrase was supposed to be "sell out to the vultures" but I misread it, so I thought I would go with it. More potential for absurdity. I used Write or Die for this. It did help a lot. The Evil Noise...is truly evil.
Now back to tea and script writing. :) Oooo..I should make a tea cozy for my teapot to keep my tea warm while I am writing. Later! No distractions! Bad writer...no biscuit. :P
In case you have forgotten, you can still go and vote for my video in the Douglas Adams Tribute Contest.