It has been such a busy week. I have been working on animating. I plan on sharinf pictures and thoughts on the process, but right now I am SO tired and need desperately to nap. I will post when I have more energy.

I will, however, take the time to share with you my new video. It is not great, but it isn't bad. I ran out of time to do proper audio dialog and sound mixing, so I went with the silent movie approach.

Also reworked my second animation ever. It is pretty bad. There was a lot more to it, but I cut it down for your sanity and mine. It was part of a series of animations I did about the Tardis taking time to have adventures without the Doctor. The sound is a little off, but I will fix it later.

So there ya go. Will talk about animating next post.

Ok...so the last couple of days I have been working on my iPad frame. I got a hold of a Dremmel tool and was able to cut the slit in the middle. I learned a bit about cutting PVC. Of course I followed all the safety procedures. I wore a mask and safety glasses. I opened all the windows and turned on a fan. I wore protective clothing. That was a big deal as I hate wearing extraneous clothing while building things. I like a close fitting tank top and a pair of comfy but not too roomy shorts when I work. That way I am comfortable abd don't risk getting pieces of clothing in the way.....ie in glue, under my cutting tool, knocking over things in my set, etc. Though Dremmels work very well, the one I used overheated quickly and I had to stop every few minutes or I couldn't handle it. The Dremmel would also stop if I hit a harder spot. I realize this is probably a safety feature, but it is damned annoying. The best way to cut PVC with a Dremmel, in case you were wondering, is to make several medium speed passes at it. It is better to go from right to left, as the other way when you hit the end of what you are cutting the Dremmel goes flying off to the right. As I am pretty sure that could end badly, moving the other direction seems wiser. Also...PVC doesn't just knock out when you get close to the end. You have to cut it the whole way through before it'll move. Not like wood at ALL.

So now that I know, I probably will never work with PVC again. But it is mostly finished now.

I am finding it difficult to get the foam insulation to stay on the inside edges. I have yet to decide if that means i need to glue it in with better glue or if I need to find a better padding medium. I also need to glue down the nut that is currently holding the screw from the tripod in place. I plan to sand down the corners and paint it with black spray paint. The kind made for covering plastic furniture. So that project is almost done. Action shot:

I also think I need to figure out how to make the iPad sit higher in the frame. I was relying on the insulation to do that. Maybe it still will.

I feel a bit more accomplished now. I love working with ny hands. The Dremmel is a blast. Now I am going to have to find other projects to use it for.

So the creative bug had been biting me pretty hard lately. I really want to do some cool stuff, though I know a lot of it I just will need to learn how to do and it will be crap. I made a list of everything I want to do, and looking at it (it is pretty long) I think I am going to need to make a plan if I am ever going to get any of it done.

Warning: LONG post! Lots of bullshit! A bunch of pics! Feel free to read or skip as appropriate.

First thing, I have been working on a new stop mo. My camera has pretty much crapped out on me, so I am going to have to figure out how to do it without the camera. I have my iPad. I have figured out how to get pics from my iPad to my computer. I have found a few camera control apps for the iPad, though nothing that lets me control the focus the way I want. Also I need to anchor that sucker down somehow so it doesn't look like my characters are in an earthquake all the time.

So I have designed a frame thing that is made of PVC piping and foam insulation tape. I had planned on cutting the PVC with my hacksaw and mitre box. The box is missing. I packed them together, because I usually do not use either one by themselves. One of these days I will either go get another one or find a friend who has power tools to help me cut them at a 45 degree angle and cut a slot in the top for the foam insulation and a place to rest the iPad. Then I will drill a 1/4inch hole in the bottom for mounting to the tripod platform. Project number one. :)

So last weekend I helped a friend move. As per usual she wanted to get rid of stuff, and as per usual I accommodated her and took it off her hands. The first thing was this awesome globe thing that lights up.

Now I have to figure out how to costume this bad boy. I can't sew, and I have other sewing projects I want to do. So I will need to find a place to find South Korean looking jackets and grey slacks. And of course the mask. I HAVE to take a shot at making a mask of that face. I have no mask making experience. I do have liquid latex. I have been looking online and if I do it in 3 pieces I may actually be able to pull it off. One piece for the face, another piece for the tentacles, and a final piece for the head. I am currently researching the cost of latex foam. I also need to get myself a few styrofoam heads to use as bases. I think I would make a thin latex mask for the face, a molded latex foam for the head, then attach the tentacles to a large mesh frame that attaches to the mask. that will make it easier to breath. It would also be awesome if I can find a cheap voice modulator.

On the latex mask front, I decided if I am going to do an Ood, I also need to make a Vastra mask.

This is Madame Vastra (picture property of BBC and Doctor Who). She is strong and beautiful and a warrior and everything I wish I could be. She is one of my favorite fictional characters ever. She is married to Jenny, the lady behind her in this picture. If you don't watch any other Doctor Who, it is worth watching the episodes she is in just to bask is this dazzling character. I have been waiting out the last few years of less than stellar storylines and Moffet's version of Psych! and a Doctor who doesn't really feel like the Doctor, but her alone has made this wait worth it. As masks go, this one looks like the most comfortable one to wear for long periods at a time. I would do her Victorian outfits, though. She has some gorgeous black dresses I really want. Though, my next project could conceivably be used for her character.

I also got a green leather coat. It is HUGE. It is very 80's. The shoulder pads are gone, but thiey have left thier mark in the shoulders of this coat. there is enough leather fabric in that coat to make a steampunky vest or two. A vest that would go with the brown leather coat I found last winter. It would also go with the Vastra mask. I also want to sew some aviator pants to use with steampunk.


 

I want this look, pants boots and all. Except I want to make them black. These pants could go with steampunk and Vastra.

I also was given several sets of vampire fangs. So....I can do regular vampire, steampunk vampire, or vampire Silurian (Vastra is a Silurian). OR Vampire Steampunk Silurian! Oh this is going to be awesome. :)

I can't sew worth a damn, so I will have to find someone to supervise.

So the list....

Not in priority order...

1. Latex Ood mask
2. Latex Madame Vastra mask
3. Build a more interactable stop mo set
4.Leather steampunk vest or two, depending
5.iPad frame with foam insulation
6.Button over aviator pants
7.Steampunk goggles
8.Crochet sweater and vests out of mounds of yarn I have laying around
9.Spin the fleece I have sitting around
10.Play with armatures and different materials to decide on puppets for stop mo.
11. Finish all writing projects (web series, 10 minute short, play, novel)
12.Finish filming current stop mo

I once told someone I am never bored. If I had a bajillion dollars, I would have plenty to do. They didn't believe me. :)

So now I have to decide what needs to be done with each of these projects, when I want to have them done by, and what I need in order to finish them. Then I will make a general plan to get them done.

And once again, after vowing not to, I have dropped the ball. For the most part I have been writing, though not as much as I vowed to in my last post, and I have not completed my script yet. This last month has been hectic. At work I did my very first ever real life server upgrade. It took way more of my energy than I anticipated. I spent my days looking up info, gathering the information I needed, ordering hardware and prepping my coworkers for the jolting change. I spent my evenings reading up on Windows Server 2012, how to install and manage it, and making list after list to make sure I planned for every contingency. That left very little time or energy for writing or doing anything else, really. Now that it is done, I can breathe a little better and relax a little more.

So now I am prepping to perform at OryCon with a filk group. I am really excited about this. It is going to be fun. And it has had an unintended consequence. When talking to the concom about our group, our illustrious leader was asked "Is that THE Eleanor Stokes, the animator?" I must admit I squeed a bit when he told me that. Another admission - I didn't think anyone really knew who I was. Well, beyond friends and family. It also shocks me because I am not the first Eleanor Stokes that comes up when you Google me. There is a romance author with my name. She is published and so usually comes up first. In fact, a date from OK Cupid renegged on their offer after Googling me and finding her. But I guess I did get minor coverage on i09 (though they posted someone else's video with my name) and some promotion from the Towel Day site for the winning video I did last year. (If you don't know what I am talking about, you must have just stumbled on this blog, as for most of last year it was all I posted about.)

So now I am excited, and feel the need to do another animation. Need to square away more of real life first, but I definitely feel the itch. I have for a while, I have just not had the energy. Now that work has settled down somewhat I can clean up my space and do some animating. And writing. And Stuff. :)

Well, it has been a very productive weekend. I haven't finished recording and posting stories yet, but it still has been very productive.  

     I spent several hours yesterday rewriting the story arc for the webseries. This is re-write number 3. Re-write because the direction it was going has changed so dramatically I had to go back and change the first few episodes and reconfigure the story arc. For some reason this time my characters are telling me where they want go with it, and it is not what I had in mind at all. However, it is truer to the characters themselves, so I guess I don't mind the rewrite. It is also necessitating the addition of more great characters, so I starting losing track of it all. And little jokes, story threads and character interactions are popping in, giving little touches to what was a good silly little story thing. It has become more than I meant it to be. I do not think it is bad. But it really isn't what I had in mind when I started this. it is tons better. I just hope I can make it fully to fruition. 

     One thing I noticed was I kept having to flip around through my notebooks to make sure I was referencing each character correctly, and not leaving dangling story threads through out. I found cheap foam board at the Dollar Tree, which I had planned to use for light bouncing. I decided that having everything easily accessible was a better idea. 

So now, my walls look like this:

     I just taped the foam board to the walls using packing tape. I will still be able to use the other side for lighting. I also am saving a few to put animation notes on. As crazy as it looks, it is actually helpful. I have never been in a writer's room, but after I did all this I realized this room now looks like pictures I have seen on the intertubes. So maybe I am on to something. Probably a lot less efficient, as it follows my logic not general conventions, but still. Sitting back and looking at it all I feel like I actually accomplished something. And I feel that much closer to this thing becoming a reality. 

     Also this weekend my friend drove me to the hardware store so I could purchase some supplies. I bought plywood, 1x1, 1-1/2x1/2, etc. I glued and nailed the boards together for a frame, then I glued and nailed the plywood to the top. Once it is dry I will have a base I can clamp to the table and attach a background. 

Here are some pics:

     So that's now done. I also purchased some small pieces of sheet metal. I am still figuring out what exactly I want to do with them. One of the ways I anchor my puppets is by using magnets. Unlike some, I put my magnets in the feet and use a metal base. Even if I feel the need to go the other way with my new puppets, a sheet metal base for the floor will give extra stability. I just haven't exactly decided how to execute it yet. 

     So that was my weekend. I still have a ton to do, but I feel like I am moving forward instead of stagnating. 

For ages I have been threatening to try to sculpt my own puppets for my stop mo. Last weekend when I was out with a friend I found some Van Aken clay on sale, so I scooped it up. Then I promptly forgot all about it. well, not forgot as much as was too nervous to try to do anything with it.

So today I was restless and listless and had a really hard time concentrating on anything, so I decided to take a walk. That walk took me past Oregon Art Supply, a very very dangerous place for my bank account. It suffers casualties every time I go in. Today I was good, but I did see they had a cheap extruder and flat roller, which inspired me to bite the bullet (and all sorts of clams) and dig in.

When I got home I dug out my sorry attempt at an armature. Now I am close to being ready to give it a go. Just gotta get up the courage to fail now.
Wish me luck...I'm goin in.

EDIT: OK, after about 2 hours, I barely have a head. I realized I can't use white clay for eyes. They will mush if I try to move them, or the eyelids, or the eyebrows. So I now need to either go to Michaels and look for doll eyes or Sculpy to make n bake them.

Here are the humiliating results so far:

Yeah, I am giving up for the night. I could make hair and build up the body, but I feel like I am saturated at the moment. Tomorrow I gotta go in to work for a little bit, but I may continue this afterwards, given I find enough chocolate and Pepsi and maybe a movie or two to keep me sitting there. When your sculpting skills suck it is easy to lose patience with it. I may not have the temperament for this kind of puppet making. Or the fine motor skills.

I have been working on this video all week. I still don't have all the pictures moved into the timeline. This is tedious. Well, usually stop motion is. I have to import each picture, one at a time, and sometimes instead of dragging it, the app decides to send me to another folder. As there are no visible numbers on the pictures, and it doesn't save the markers, I have to figure out what picture I was on when it decided to crap out on me. This is the frustrating bit. I have not yet figured out what it is that makes it do this. I must admit I walked away a couple of times. I am now about 2/3 through adding pictures, then I get to actually work on finesses it all into a coherent video. I worked for 4 hours last night, and didn't get very far, so this part may take way longer than I anticipated. I shall continue soldiering on, and maybe by the end of the weekend I will have a video for you.

I have also been working on polishing my stories for storytelling. I have my first class on Monday, and I am very, very nervous. Just to get used to people hearing my stories, when one of my friends said he needed stories for his new blog I submitted one. If you want to read it, it is at Broken Treasures . It really didn't get much editing, and his spell check actually changed some of the words so they don't make sense. but otherwise that is mostly what I am going with. Feel free to read it and comment back here. I would love to know if it is too rambly, disjointed, whiney, etc.

Ok, back to the grindstone. I may go get tea and work somewhere else.

EDIT: I am finding that the app is now seriously lagging. Thinking maybe 1165 photos are too much for this app to process. SIGH SO I am starting over, and going to see if I can do this in spidgettes, like I did with the Douglas Adams video and still have something continuous and flowy. I am concerned with it becoming jerky and hard to watch. With the Douglas Adams audio I did the segments where the scene changes were so you'd expect a little bit of flow interruption. Cross fingers. And damn duplicating work.

So today was supposed to be all about polishing stories for my foray into storytelling. And, like a good little procrastinator, I watched Doctor Who and played on my iPad instead. Which in this case is good, because I discovered something awesome. Remember a while back when I compared free stop mo iPad apps? Well, there is another one.

This one I mentioned before. It used to be called Avid, but now it is called Pinnacle Studio. It is usually $5, but until the 18th of September it is FREE!!!! So guess what I did, and guess what I have been playing with? Yup....the new app. Technically Pinnacle is just a video editing app, but it also does stop mo if you set it right. Almost in the same way windows Movie Maker does stop mo if you set it right (or used to). Seems to be more full featured than most of what I have seen for free. I can even set the pictures to hold for a number of frames, rather than fractions of a second like WM does. It also allows for audio to be added and edited in 3 tracks, you can make several clips then edit them together and add 3 more sound tracks. I just played with photos and audio I have currently on my iPad, which are not really stop mo related. it seems to have more freedom than WM had, and more editing capabilities. I like this. I do have to take pictures outside the app, though, as it isn't strictly a stop mo app.

SO....

Tonight, after I have had dinner and a short nap, my plan is to write, shoot, record and edit a short stop mo with my iPad. Just my iPad. I have a recording app. Not sure if it converts to Mp3 though. Or I can record audio actually inside the app. So by tomorrow afternoon my goal is to have a 30-60 second short done all in my apps. This shall be fun.

Hehe, I am like a raven. See something shiney, and I am diverted from my original task. Well, at least there will still be time to get those stories done. I have the basic structure done, I just want to polish them up. They are all a bit rambley. But this will be fun.

And, well....STOP MO.

So, remember a while back when I was posting about Chris Hardwick and the RL-RPG thing? No? Not surprised. It has been ages since I have posted about it. I haven't stopped working on it, but I really haven't been talking about it much either. One of the goals I set for myself was to write and learn how to perform as a storyteller. I have spent a lot of time listening to other storytellers and analyzing their styles. I have worked on writing out several stories. Now I have decided to move on to the next step. I have contacted Kevin Allison from the Risk! Podcast to negotiate one-on-one sessions. The price isn't too bad. I have decided I can afford 2 sessions a month. That will give me time to polish between sessions. Now that I have started the processes, I am a tad freaked out. This shit just wandered into real territory. I will be investing money into getting better at it. Someone else will be listening to my story and telling me what they think. I can no longer hide safely behind my computer, wondering if I could have been or what I could have done. I will have to shove myself out of my comfort zone, out of the little self-coddling cacoon of safety I created for myself while I was feeling it out. I will have to put aside my feelings of self doubt. I will have to stop fearing the possibility I will fail hard, and know that when I fail hard I will have someone to help keep me from failing so hard the next time. it is scary and exciting all at the same time.

I miss the stage. I used to love performing. I still feel at home just standing on a stage. When standing on a stage, my instinct is not to go "oh my god, people are looking at me" but to go "I need to do something". For too long I have let fear take over that rush I get when I am actually on stage. That self doubt that crept in there when I was dealing with abusive situations and difficult people has made it hard to get back to a place where a stage is a stage, and what matters is the performance, not the person. Performing is fun. It is a huge adrenaline rush. Yes, for me performing is a selfish thing. I like to give people a good show, but the rush you get when you have been practicing hard, and the performance is going well, and there is good energy coming from the audience, and you feel it and it feeds your energy, and you finish with a huge applause and this symbiotic energy that doesn't go away for hours, sometimes days. It is the best kind of high. It was the kind of high I thrived on in high school.

Another day of writing. I am housesitting this weekend starting last night, so I thought this would be a great weekend to sequester myself with my computer and write. I have a lot of writing to do. However, now I am here I am having a hard time motivating myself to get started. It's not like I don't want to write. I love writing. As hard as it is, and even with how much I struggle with getting it just right, I love it. This whole frustrating, maddening, wonderful process I call stop motion is love worthy. I admit, no job I have ever had has made me as happy. Or as frustrated. And yet, in spite of the frustration, I still want to do it. I have not the feeling of "Fuck it!" and the urge to walk away, kicking everyone in face as I do so. The frustration does not make me mad. As much as I want to have an income, after experiencing this, I don't want to go back to crappy day-to-day stuff. I am still looking and will take what I can get, but I am realizing more and more that I need to get my butt in gear and figure out a way to make THIS my job. I need to find someone who can help me figure out what is crap and what is good, so I can improve faster.

I feel stupid just figuring out what I want to be when I grow up at age 37. I wish I had figured my life out sooner. Looking back on my life, I don't think I could have. I went from one abusive situation to another. I wasted my 20's on an abusive man who wasn't worth my time, and wasted most of my 30's getting away from the shit he lay on me. Only now am I realizing what I can do, and what makes me happy. Only now can I look at what I do and see the good as well as the bad. I guess I am getting to a point in my life where I really am getting too old for other people's shit, and their negativity no longer completely shuts me down. Granted, I have a long way to go before the fear monster sitting on my shoulder dies. He may never die completely. But it feels good to look back on something I made, even if there are flaws that need to be corrected, and be excited and happy with what I see. It feels good to make myself laugh. It makes me feel like running around yelling "Look what I did!" like a five year old.

Actually, I take that back. I am not just discovering now what I want to be when I grow up. I am only now rediscovering what I wanted to be from a young age. When I was in elementary school I used to write little stories all the time. I used to amuse my teachers with them. One of them even encouraged me to submit one of my stories to the district wide writer's conference. Somewhere there is a published volume of elementary school kid's stories from 1984, and one of mine is in there. I believe it was a story about a witch. I LOVED melodramas, and as an extension British pantos. One summer I wrote a melodrama, and I roped my siblings and my cousins into performing it for all the adults. I think I was 10 at the time. When I was a teenager I wrote books to take with me babysitting. I had what I called my babysitting bag. I found that although kids had books and toys and videos at their houses, usually they had played them all to death and didn't really want to do any of that stuff. So in my bag I put a bag of chocolate chips with which to make cookies, a jump rope, paper and colored pencils, dress up clothes  and cheap McDonald's toys. And, of course books. My mom wouldn't let me take our books out of the house, so I wrote my own and my best friend illustrated them. We made several for my bag and several for hers. So what happened? Several things. There are circumstances I don't want to bore you with, but mainly the end result was me giving up on myself. I honestly thought that the best I could do was be someone's wife and raise kids. (The ironic thing is I still don't have any kids) That I was too stupid and incompetent to be creative. That my ideas were cliche and stupid. And it has just taken me this long to wade through all the bullshit and realize what I have known all along.....that I can do this, and whether or not I am good enough at it NOW for people to pay me for it, it makes me happy. "It" being stop motion animation, storytelling, writing, comedy....anything and everything that I have been working on the last year to keep myself sane.

Because in the end, all THAT,  is what makes me happy and sane.

Well, look at that. I think I just knocked my motivation loose. See ya either when the weekend is over or when I hit another rough patch. Enjoy your weekend. :)